Sasuke and Naruto's Epic Sexy Adventure
by xXxCookie-MonsterxXx
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke's first time, and the events that lead up to it. Prequel to Sasuke's Coupon Book, but can be read alone. Minor Neji/Gaara and Itachi/Deidara. Now edited!


**Here is the long awaited, now EDITED prequel to _Sasuke's Coupon Book_! But keep in mind, please, that I'm only human, so I'm sorry if I still missed some mistakes/typos. Just let me know and I'll fix them! And if you haven't read _Sasuke's Coupon Book_, this _can_ stand alone... I, however, recommend reading this and then _Sasuke's Coupon Book_... just saying :)**

**Sorry I haven't made any actually updates in a while, guys... with everything I have going on right now, writing is just not really conducive with it all. I hope you still enjoy this anyways :)**

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><p>Sasuke Uchiha was frustrated.<p>

There was very little he did not have in his life. If any need arose, there was no problem getting it – he was an Uchiha, after all. He had the perfect apartment, the perfect job, and the perfect boyfriend. There wasn't much more that he could possibly want. He wasn't frustrated with what he didn't have; rather, it was with what he already had.

Naruto Uzumaki. They had been together for just over a year, though they had known each other their entire lives. They were such foils to each other that they instantly clicked; it was true, Sasuke mused, that opposites really do attract. They fought constantly and it would seem to others that they hated each other; but if one was picked on, the other was instantly at their side.

It was during Naruto's last year of college that they finally got together. Sasuke had started at his father's company as soon as he himself was out of school and quickly rose through the ranks. He shared an apartment with the hyperactive blond, much to his father's chagrin, and all was well with the world.

Until, that is, Sasuke returned from work to find Naruto and his dumber-than-shit friend Kiba together on the couch. The idiotic brunette was pressed up against the blonde, sucking lewdly at his neck and running a hand up Naruto's thigh. Naruto was bright red, his face screwed up in a mixture of uncertainty and pleasure. Sasuke saw red; _no one else_ should have been touching _his_ kitsune.

He kicked Kiba's ass and then promptly threw him from the apartment. He stormed up to a ranting Naruto and kissed him squarely on the lips. They had been together ever since.

So how was the blond the source of Sasuke's frustration, one might wonder? It was simple; they had been together for more than a year, and they hadn't had sex yet.

It wasn't like Sasuke was unhappy with the relationship. Naruto always kept him on his toes, they always enjoyed each other (aside from the arguments that more often than not led to them making out), and they were happily stable. He loved his little blond, and he wouldn't give him up for the world. But fuck – he was a man with needs!

At least one person seemed to benefit from Sasuke's frustration, though: Itachi, Sasuke's older brother. It was like the bastard _knew_ the source of his frustration. And he probably did, considering that Itachi's lover, Deidara, and Naruto were nearly inseparable since meeting. But the point was, Itachi took great amusement out of it and took every opportunity to tease his little brother.

And today was just a perfect example of that.

Sasuke hadn't began the day well to begin with. He had woken up from a wonderful dream featuring his blonde with a raging hard on. Naruto was still passed out on his side of the bed. For a brief moment, Sasuke considered waking him up to see where things would lead. But that was something that he had tried before, and it hadn't gone well.

So, frustratedly, he went to the bathroom to take care of his not-so-little problem by himself. He was nearly finished when Naruto burst in, good-naturedly complaining about how long Sasuke always took in the bathroom. As soon as he saw what his boyfriend was doing, he clapped a hand over his eyes, turned bright red, and tried to run from the bathroom.

Key word: tried. With his hand over his eyes and unable to see anything, the blond ran into the door frame instead of through the door. Sasuke, now frustrated for more than one reason, had had to take care of his slightly hysterical kitsune. He barely had time for a shower and was almost late to work. On top of that, Naruto refused to meet his eyes or stay in the same room with the raven for long.

By the time he'd made it to work, he only had five minutes to make it to Itachi's office for a meeting. Without even stopping at his own office, he went straight to his brother's... only to walk in to find the older raven and his blond going at it against his desk.

It was barely eight AM and Sasuke was already more than ready to kill someone. His brother got it whenever he wanted and Sasuke's boyfriend got embarrassed if he caught Sasuke without a shirt on. How was that fair?

Needless to say, the event didn't put Sasuke in too good of a mood for the day. Especially not when Itachi came strolling into his office thirty minutes later than planned for their meeting, still looking debauched and smelling of sex. The bastard just loved to rub it in.

He sat across from his younger brother, folded his hands neatly, and smirked when the little vein in Sasuke's head made an appearance.

"Otouto, is something the matter?" he asked in what would seem to be a polite way. "You seem rather tense. Isn't Naruto helping you unwind after all your long days at the office?"

"Shut up," Sasuke snarled back. He slammed a file on the desk and nearly threw it at his brother. "About the merger-"

"Yes, about that," Itachi said calmly. He slid the folder back towards Sasuke. "Father and I have discussed it already."

"...Without me?"

"Yes, without you. Keep in mind, Sasuke, you may be an Uchiha, but you are still a junior partner. Not every decision requires your input or opinion. Yes, we've decided to send you to represent Uchiha Corp at the merger in Suna. You'll be leaving on Monday, and I've already had Hinata book you a flight."

Sasuke's eye twitched. Illegal or not, homicide seemed like the best way to proceed at this point. They had decided that _he_ would go to the merger? What's more, they had made the decision without him?

"This is absurd!" Sasuke snapped. "You're more experienced than I am! It should be you going on the merger! God only knows how hard those Sabaku bastards at Tanuki Corporation are! And Gaara's fucking creepy!"

Itachi raised one smooth eyebrow. "'Creepy' as he might be, Neji has informed me that Naruto and Gaara are actually quite close companions. They reconnected quite well after high school, so it would seem." He stood, brushing imaginary dirt from his expensive suit jacket. "Perhaps Naruto could call and put in a good word for you. I'm sure he'd only ask for some oral-"

_"Out!"_

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><p>The door slammed shut loudly behind him, the noise resounding through the apartment. Almost immediately, Naruto's head of bright yellow hair popped out of the kitchen. He frowned as he watched his boyfriend kick off his shoes and forcefully tear off his tie.<p>

With a sigh, he flounced over to the raven and removed the tie much more calmly.

"Long day?" he simpered. "Poor Sasuke..." He placed a lingering kiss on Sasuke's lips, then slid down to his boyfriend's neck and left a light trail of kisses and nips. Sasuke nearly growled, buried a hand in Naruto's sunshine locks, and yanked him back to his lips for another proper kiss. He ignored the startled noise Naruto made and continued to thoroughly devour his boyfriend's mouth.

"S-Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed after managing to pull away for a few short seconds. The raven ignored him yet again and moved to suck on the blond's tan neck. After leaving a dark mark on one side, a marked that screamed, "Mine!" to the world, he moved to the opposite side to do the same thing. He had no sooner began when his hand fell to Naruto's pants. He had just gotten the button undone when Naruto jumped away as though he'd been shocked.

His face was bright red as he scrambled to redo his jeans. He stuttered out a quick, "I-I'll go ge-get you a d-drink!" and then he disappeared back into the kitchen. Sasuke groaned and fell back against the wall. He was going to die a horny, unsatisfied, perverted old man, he was sure of it.

There were two ways Naruto tended to act after Sasuke tried to pull something. The first was avoiding the raven at all costs, sometimes even sleeping on the couch (or making Sasuke). He'd be jumpy and paranoid for a while until Sasuke backed down.

Sasuke much preferred the second way. Naruto would feel guilty, so it seemed, and became extra cuddly. Now, Sasuke was an Uchiha, and while Uchiha's didn't cuddle, Sasuke wouldn't object to sharing some body heat if someone accidentally lowered the temperature in the apartment... again.

Luckily for the raven, after dinner (and a long, cold shower for Sasuke), Naruto was in quite the "friendly" mood. Sasuke grabbed the paper he hadn't had time to read that morning and fell into the love seat, stretching out and unfolding the paper. He had barely made it past the first page when Naruto crawled up next to him. The blond pushed Sasuke's arm out of the way, and then settled his head in the Uchiha's lap and stroked his leg thoughtfully.

"Deidara called me today," he told his boyfriend.

"Hn."

It required no further response because that was hardly news to Sasuke. Deidara and Naruto had become inseparable since the moment they met – much to the chagrin of both of the Uchiha's. Both hyperactive blonds could be menaces separately, but together, hell reigned.

"He said that Itachi told him you'd be going out of town next week." The blonde frowned. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Sasuke sighed and set his paper aside. "I just found out today, dobe. Trust me, I am no more pleased than you are about this." He ran a hand absently over Naruto's hair. "I'm sure it won't take me very long. It's for a merger with Gaara's family's company, you know."

"Gaara?" Naruto perked up slightly. "I haven't talked to him in a while! I should call him..."

Sasuke smirked a little. If this worked out, then he wouldn't be away from his dobe for very long at all, and he'd have good news for his father when he returned. Maybe things were looking up.

* * *

><p>Things weren't looking up.<p>

The very same night, Sasuke had fallen asleep and succumbed to a wonderful dream involving Naruto and himself in a very steamy shower... only to have the dream disrupted by Naruto waking to find Sasuke's hardness against his leg, hitting him over the head with his pillow, and tossing the "perverted teme" into the hallway.

So, upon waking up for the second day in a row after being cock-blocked by his very own boyfriend, Sasuke was still not in a good mood. On top of that, he was starting to get a little desperate. He did love Naruto, he loved him more than anyone. But he was more than ready for their relationship to take another, larger step – wasn't his blond?

Sasuke spent more of his time at work pondering his problem than actually working. He didn't have any meetings – none that were important anyway – and besides, his libido was more important than the company at the moment.

After four days, Sasuke had come up with nothing and it was time for his business trip. He had to leave early, so Naruto didn't go to the airport with him. Normally he would stay with Sasuke until he boarded and then would watch the plane take off, like some cliché romance movie. Naruto loved the bastard, but he was not getting up with him at four in the morning to see him off.

Neither of them liked when they were apart, though. Naruto got lonely quickly and Sasuke missed molesting his dobe. He'd have to make this merger as quick and clean cut as possible so he could finally get some loving from his kitsune.

Little did Sasuke know, though, that Naruto had plans of his own. Ill formed and poorly thought out plans, but plans nonetheless. He never admitted it to Sasuke in fear of being called a girl, because he was an Uzumaki, not a girl, but he'd always wanted to wait for someone he really loved to be his first. And now that Sasuke would be gone for a few days, he could plan without distractions.

...That is, if he could come up with good plans. The ones he had were no good whatsoever. He had no idea how to be sexy, as he'd never really had to be. Aside from that, Sasuke seemed to think simple little things he did were sexy, like eating some vanilla ice cream or snacking on a banana. Boy, he had a strange boyfriend.

He groaned and banged his head against the table. This wasn't working; he'd need help. But from who?

Deidara came to mind first, but he was discarded almost immediately. Deidara would help him, but then he'd tell Itachi, and if Itachi found out than Sasuke would find out too soon. Then there was Kiba, but he wouldn't work either; he was much too perverted for Naruto's liking. It was strange he and Sasuke didn't get along better...

So, Naruto decided, he was left with one option. He called up someone that he hadn't talked to in so long, but he was sure would help him.

"Gaara no Sabaku." There was no other greeting.

"Gaara! It's Naruto!"

He could hear a shuffling on his friend's end of the line, then a curt, "Get out before I kill you." After a short moment, Gaara spoke again. "Naruto, it's been a while. Although from what I understand, I'll be getting a visit from your... lover."

Naruto flushed at the word. "Yeah, Sasuke's coming over to Suna to work on some business stuff." His nose wrinkled. "I'd guess that it's gonna be pretty boring."

"On the contrary, Naruto. Tanuki and Uchiha Corporations are separately two powerhouse companies, and should this merger go well..."

Naruto tuned out, doodling little ramen cups on his plan sheet, entitled "The Epic Sexy Adventure." He sighed and cut in, "Wow, Gaara, that's really cool. Hey, do you think you can help me with something?"

Gaara paused. "Would this be concerning your inability to let Sasuke fuck you?"

Naruto's face flamed at the words. Where had his little Gaara learned such vulgar words? Then again, he was dating Neji, and Neji was related to Sasuke and Itachi... it was obviously rubbing off. On the upside, he had indeed called the right person.

"Uh, w-well, yeah, kinda. How'd you know about that?"

"Itachi enjoys telling Neji of his brother's sexual woes. Neji enjoys relating the story to me because we always seem to end up in bed afterward."

"Gaara!"

"I'm merely being helpful. Is this not why you called me?"

"Well yeah, but I don't want to hear the creepy perverted things you and Neji do!" he shrieked, waving his arms dramatically (although, Gaara couldn't see the action, so it really had no effect). "I just need your help figuring out how to seduce him! How did you, um..."

"Give Neji my flower?"

"Gaara!" Naruto wailed, collapsing on the table. "I told you that you spent too much time with Lee in school!"

"Hm. I suppose," Gaara replied. "But keep in mind, you _did_ ask for my assistance, Naruto. I'm merely trying to help. Now would you like to know or not?"

"Just... spare all the creepy, unnecessary details. I _don't_ need that mental image, and I _don't_ want to be scared for life like that." He shuddered.

"Very well. I... resisted for quite a while. Longer than you've been doing so. I didn't want him to think I was tainted afterward; I thought he wouldn't want me anymore."

It was uncharacteristic for Gaara to be so open about something so personal, so Naruto made sure to drink in every word of the story.

"He told me he'd only care more for me afterward, and for a while, I refused to believe that. I... I love Neji very much. I've never loved someone before. I didn't want to ruin what we had, even though I knew that Neji was frustrated. I couldn't lose the one person that ever loved me so much.

"Then, one day... I walked in on Kankuro and his boyfriend. In my office, which I punished them for later, but that's not the point. I... they were so passionate. They were_ making love_, and if someone like Kankuro was capable of that... there was no way I couldn't be." He paused. "I pulled Neji from a meeting and made him take me home."

Naruto nodded slowly, taking in the story. He and Gaara were a lot alike; everyone that he loved always left. His father, his mother, and then Jiraiya – when Kakashi and Iruka finally took him in, he was fourteen, and that was the first time he had ever had something close to a real family since his parents died. Kyuubi was always flitting in and out of gangs, going from city to city, and he rarely stopped by to visit. That changed by the time Naruto reached college, though, and now they were closer than ever again.

Sasuke had always been there, too, and when their relationship grew romantic and the blond began to love him, he feared Sasuke would leave, too. But if Gaara could find someone that loved him...

"That helps me a lot, Gaara," Naruto admitted. "Thanks. I owe you one."

"No problem, Naruto. But if you repeat the story to anyone, I will slit your throat while you sleep."

The line went dead. Naruto chuckled nervously, locked the front door, and returned to his plan sheet. He crumpled up the paper and tossed it to the bin. There was nothing to be worried about. Sasuke loved him, and he loved and trusted Sasuke.

He bit his lip. He'd need stuff, though, condoms and whatnot. Deidara had his sex shop, just recently opened, and while he could get good products for good prices, the information would get back to Itachi. He'd have to go somewhere else.

He drove around for nearly an hour before pulling over at a little store called "Ichi Ichi Paradise Shoppe." He shuddered; those were the nasty books Kakashi read. He quickly pulled out of the parking lot and tried to find a different store. Luckily, he found another just a few blocks away – Akatsuki Sex Shop. The name sounded strangely familiar to him, but he brushed it aside and made his way into the little building.

The little bell above the door rang as he stepped in. He was barely a few feet in the door when a familiar blond bounced out, baring a grin.

"Welcome to Akatsuki, un!" Deidara greeted. He stopped when he saw who was in his shop. "...Naruto, un?"

"Deidara!" Naruto exclaimed. "This is your shop?!"

He knew that the other blond had purchased a storefront, but he hadn't known that this was it. Naruto felt his face burn bright red in embarrassment. Well, there went his plan for not telling Deidara...

"Yeah! I just opened last month, un." Deidara tilted his head absently to the side. "Are you and Sasuke...?"

"No! But, um, I kinda, sorta want to, um – you know, when he gets back from his trip, uh-"

"Oh. _Oh_." Deidara nodded, grabbing Naruto's hand and pulling him along. "Don't worry, yeah, I gotcha covered. We'll start with lube, then condoms, and maybe you can get some toys, un! Vibrators, clamps, handcuffs, dil-"

"Okay, okay!" Naruto screeched. Deidara laughed at his friend's discomfort.

"Oh Naru, you're so adorable, un." Deidara stopped them in front of a shelf lined entirely with different sizes, flavors, and scents of lube. "Now you want something water based, yeah, and that's this shelf here. They're safe to use with toys and latex things, like condoms, un. They dry up easily, but it's easy to clean up with water. Or saliva." Deidara gave Naruto a sharp grin. "So, yeah, what do you think? Something flavored? Edible?"

Naruto's eyes immediately zeroed in on one tube in particular; it was in a rather plain looking blackish blue container, with simply silver lettering reading "Stroke Personal Lubricant – Maximize the pleasure of intimacy." He pointed to the tube, and Deidara smiled, grabbing it.

"Excellent choice, yeah. Itachi and I use this." He winked and Naruto blushed all over again. "Okay! Condoms next, yeah!" He dragged Naruto to that row of the store. "If Sasuke is anything like Itachi, you'll need this size, un." He grabbed a box labeled "Large" in the corner. Naruto groaned; he did not need that picture. "This is the best brand I have here, yeah. They're really popular, too. Okay, so toys-"

"I think this is enough!" Naruto exclaimed, yanking his hand away from his crazy friend. "I don't think toys are something I wanna try for the first time..."

"Suit yourself, un." Deidara shrugged. He bagged Naruto's items, then gave them to him with a wink and a simple, "On the house."

Naruto raced out of the store and back to his car, thoroughly mortified. He wouldn't be able to look Deidara in the eye for a while. And now Itachi was likely to know, and that meant Sasuke was likely to find out... This was sounding like more trouble than it was worth.

* * *

><p>Sasuke was tired. It was past midnight, and his flight home had been delayed. He hated Suna and the Sabaku bastards had worn him out. All he wanted was to come home, fall in bed with his dobe, and sleep for a week.<p>

He slid quietly into the apartment, toed off his shoes, and set down his bags near the door. He could put them away later; it wasn't something that had to be taken care of immediately. He discarded his shirt on the way to the bedroom, tossing it over the back of the couch. He expected to walk in on a snoring Naruto; instead, he found his dobe laying on his stomach in the middle of the bed, frowning at something he was holding.

"Dobe?" Sasuke asked. Naruto jumped and sat up.

"Sasuke! You're back early!" he yelped. Whatever he had in his hand he shoved underneath him, so he was sitting on it. Sasuke frowned slightly and stepped forward.

"What are you hiding?"

"Nothing!"

"Naruto..."

Despite himself, Naruto shivered; Sasuke's voice was so husky and sexy, especially when he said the blond's name. But he had to focus, damn it! Now, Sasuke had asked a question...

"Nothing!" Naruto repeated. "I'm not hiding anything!"

"Bullshit," Sasuke deadpanned. He crossed to the bed and crawled towards Naruto, who was blushing furiously and trying to keep the little item hidden. The raven grabbed his boyfriend, but Naruto wouldn't go down without a fight. They wrestled on the bed for a few minutes before Sasuke won. With one arm, he held his boyfriend down, and with the other, he grabbed what Naruto had been trying to hide.

"...A condom?" he said slowly. Naruto's face burned bright red.

"Shut up!" he snapped, wriggling under Sasuke. "It – it was gonna be a surprise, bastard!"

"What was going to be a surprise?" Not even Sasuke himself was sure how he sounded so calm. He could already feel his blood boiling at the prospect of finally getting Naruto entirely, all for himself.

"I..." Naruto looked off to the side. "I wanted to, um, you know..."

"Sex?" Sasuke asked, raising an eyebrow. Naruto flushed and nodded. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." The blond wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, idly stroking the hair at the base of his neck. "I – I had this talk with Gaara that really got me thinking and stuff, and I just... I love you a lot and that's something I want to give you."

"Hn." Sasuke leaned down and pressed their lips together. "...Love you too, dobe."

Naruto smiled at him, leaning up to kiss the raven again. He loved kissing Sasuke; he tasted good and he was just an amazing kisser. Before long, Sasuke rolled them over so he was on top and slid his hands underneath Naruto's shirt. The blond groaned, twisting under the skilled fingers.

But Naruto was not a patient person. He swatted Sasuke's hands away, then pulled off his shirt and threw it to the floor. Sasuke smirked, leaning down to trace his dobe's muscled, tan chest with his tongue. In a matter of seconds Naruto was moaning and squirming, yanking on Sasuke's hair.

Sasuke, on the other hand, was much more patient. He took his time, tracing Naruto's abs, then his ribs, and finally gliding his tongue to the pink, perk nipples that awaited him. He drew one into his mouth and sucked lightly, pulling and plucking the other one.

"Ngh, S-Sas, t-that's... weird," Naruto muttered, trailing off in a soft moan. Sasuke merely smirked and moved back up to Naruto's lips.

He wanted to take it slow, to make it memorable. And he'd never be able to forgive himself if he hurt his dobe, even if he was a moron. He couldn't scare his blond.

"Can I take these off?" Sasuke murmured, tugging on the band of Naruto's sweat pants. Shakily, Naruto nodded, and Sasuke pulled them off. He smirked. "Really, Naruto?"

"S-shut up, bastard!" the Uzumaki snapped, flushing bright red. He crossed his legs, though it did nothing to hide his bare arousal. "I – I just got outta the shower and I was gonna go to bed-!"

Sasuke chuckled and silenced him with a kiss. He shimmied off the bed, ignoring Naruto's whine of protest, and slid off his pants and boxers as well. Naruto's eyes went wide as they slid over Sasuke's body, taking in every inch of perfect pale skin. Sasuke was built like a god; ivory pale skin, lean muscles, tall, an elegant face. He could be in one of Naruto's paintings, if he could ever capture something so beautiful with only brushes and paints.

He didn't have much more time to think about that, though. Sasuke was on top of him again, kissing him, running his fingers through those soft, sunshine locks. He grabbed Naruto's arm and repositioned them so they were each on their sides, facing each other. Sasuke ran his hands over Naruto, exploring every dip and divot of his perfect body. After some encouragement, Naruto did the same, exploring Sasuke. They had seen each other shirtless, of course, and naked on a few, short occasions, but this was so different.

"S-Sasuke," the blond murmured at last. "I – I want..."

"I know, dobe, me too," Sasuke replied softly. He took his spot back on top, sitting on Naruto's hips, and snatched the condom from beside them. "What else did you buy?"

"J-just lube," Naruto replied. He leaned across the bed, opened the drawer on the bedside table, and retrieved the tube. He handed it to his boyfriend and smiled coyly. Sasuke returned it, ever so slightly, and kissed the dobe again. He rubbed Naruto's hips with one hand, using the other to hold himself up. The hand then strayed to Naruto's erection and grasped it firmly.

Naruto gasped, arching up against his lover. Sasuke slowly twirled his thumb around the head of his erection, swiping the pre-cum around. Soon Naruto was panting, writing, moaning frantically, bucking against Sasuke's skilled hand. He tried to tell the raven to stop, he was so close and he just couldn't hold on, but it was too late; he was coming, and he was coming hard.

Of course, he'd jacked off before. He was a guy, after all. But those orgasms were nothing compared to this, nothing at all. He literally saw white. His back arched far off the bed, his toes curled, and his mouth fell open in a silent scream.

By the time he came back down from his high, Sasuke was sitting back on his haunches, slowly rubbing some lube between his fingers while stroking himself. Naruto flushed, and the Uchiha smirked.

"Seems like you enjoyed that," he purred. Naruto nodded lazily, tipping his head back against the pillow. He felt high; it was amazing. Sasuke chuckled in response and spread the blond's legs apart, settling between them. He ran his hands over the insides of Naruto's thighs, then nudged his legs up so his knees were bent and his feet were flat on the bed.

"Naruto."

"Hm, Sas?" was his slurred reply

"I'm going to stretch you with my fingers now, okay? And it'll probably hurt a little, at first..."

"Mm. Sounds nice."

Sasuke's eye twitched. "Dobe, are you listening to me?"

"Not a dobe. Fingers, yeah..."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and shook his head. With one hand, he squeezed more lube onto his hand and resumed stroking his partner. Naruto mewled happily, raising his hips into the motion. He didn't even notice Sasuke's other hand creeping between his thighs, under his balls, and then...

"Bastard, what the hell?"

He had fingers in places fingers _definitely_ weren't supposed to go. Sasuke rolled his eyes, stroking firmer and gentling the movements of the fingers of his other hand.

"Dobe, I told you I was going to prepare you. Listen, ursuratonkachi."

"Hey, don't call me that!"

Sasuke merely rolled his eyes, continued his ministrations. He worked the first finger carefully in and out of Naruto, trying not to jostle or prod too hard. Soon, once Naruto was well enough relaxed, he slid in another finger. However, he had to stop after that and encourage his lover to relax against the intrusion and accept it. If Naruto kept that up, they'd never be able to get to the main event.

"Come on, my kit, you need to relax," Sasuke murmured, attempting to calm his lover. Naruto gave a shaky scowl back, shifting his hips again.

"Bastard, I'd l-like to see _you_ relax wi-with two fingers shoved up y-your ass!" he snapped back. Sasuke rolled his eyes; leave it to Naruto to be dramatic. Sure, he knew the feeling couldn't be all together too pleasant, but Naruto had a tendency to blow things out of proportion.

"Only in your dreams, Naruto," he murmured. He shifted the angle of his fingers down and smirked when the blond let out a loud moan, pressing back urgently against the digits. He slid in a third without the blond noticing, and finally it was time; he was ready.

He withdrew his fingers, ignoring Naruto as the tan man drew himself up on his elbows and watched Sasuke. The raven slid the condom on, making sure to leave room at the tip, then spread a generous about of lube over his cock. He slid back up Naruto's body and frowned when he saw Naruto's face.

"Dobe, we can stop if you want." The sincere concern in his voice, a near foreign tone, was what convinced Naruto one hundred percent that he did want this. He smiled and wrapped his arms around the taller man.

"Teme, if you stop, I'll rip your balls off," he replied, equally softly. Sasuke blinked, then chuckled. He braced his himself with one hand and lined himself up with the other, then, with one last, warm kiss on Naruto's lips, he began to slid inside.

Naruto immediately tensed, his body trying to reject the foreign invasion. He squirmed and whimpered, clutching Sasuke's arms tightly. All the while, the raven murmured in his ear, encouraging him to relax, take his cock, yes, just like that, he was doing so good.

Sasuke was finally fully seated. Naruto was squirming and twisting, making it damn near impossible for Sasuke to stay still. But he had to wait for Naruto to adjust, to relax. He would never forgive himself if he hurt his dobe. He stroked his dobe, kissed his neck, tried to calm him down, then finally...

"O-okay, you can move," Naruto whispered, rocking his hips slightly. "But – slow..."

"Slow," Sasuke echoed. He had no idea how to go slow with Naruto being so damn fuckable. "I'll take care of you, Naruto."

Naruto didn't reply, but that didn't surprise Sasuke. He gripped the blond's hips, then slowly began thrusting. He alternately changed angles, trying to find his lover's sweet spot. He wanted Naruto to feel good, too. That, and he wasn't sure how long he could keep this whole "slow" thing up.

He didn't have long to wait, though. Soon, he struck the spot. Naruto was once more a moaning, writhing mess under Sasuke's touch. He couldn't believe he'd held out on sex this long! It was so amazing! It was really no wonder that Deidara had a sex shop, because really, this was pretty awesome.

Sasuke wanted to groan in relief when Naruto yelled for him to go faster. He braced himself, then began to thrust without abandon. Naruto was so damn vocal, it was going to be the end of him.

Soon the blond was tugging on his cock, being to come. It was too good, too much. Sasuke wrapped a hand around the dobe's erection as well and stroked him over the edge.

As Naruto collapsed against the bed, panting, Sasuke's thrusts quickly grew erratic, and he knew he wasn't far behind his lover. With a few last, uneven thrusts, Sasuke shuddered, groaned, then fell on top of his boyfriend.

"Bastard, you're heavy," Naruto muttered. Sasuke nipped at his neck in reply. He pulled out and climbed off of the bed. Naruto pouted at him, but Sasuke merely rolled his eyes. He tugged off the condom and disposed of it, and then nearly swaggered to the bathroom.

He cleaned Naruto's come off his chest and brushed his teeth, then took a wet rag out for Naruto. But the blond had already passed out, his mouth hanging wide open and snores filtering out. Sasuke snorted but smiled. He cleaned Naruto up quickly, then settled into bed beside him. He was about to turn off the light when something on the table caught his attention; it was a piece of paper folded in half, Naruto's messy scrawl littered across it. Sasuke picked it up and read:

_The Epic Sexy Adventure: Part Two_

_ [X] Buy lube_

_ [X] Buy condoms_

_ [ ] Seduce Sasuke_

Sasuke smirked. He grabbed the pen, drew an X in the last box, and set the pen down again. Then, after a brief second of thought, he crossed out "Seduce Sasuke" and replaced it with "Screw my gorgeous dobe senseless." He set the pen down, flicked the light off, and fell into a peaceful sleep filled with dirty dreams of his kit.

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><p><strong>Cookie-Monster thanks you for reading. Since you're already all the way down here, why don't you just fill out that little review box, or click one of those little boxes for favorite story? :D<strong>

**...Because I'm still a strange, lonely person, whose only friend continues to be yaoi.**


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